I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
