So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
