If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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