He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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