So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
