i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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