And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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