So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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