some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
