Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
