just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I did not marry a roomba.
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