If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
