ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
