no, he came in my armpit
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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