Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
