Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
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These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
