Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

:( I'm sorry!!!

(847): View more from Illinois

sexual favors sorry?

(224): View more from Illinois

absolutely not

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(224): :( I'm sorry!!! (847): sexual favors sorry? (224): absolutely not http://tfl.nu/14ur

Replies (30) Good night (1022) Bad night (2241)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom

(636): View more from Missouri

You know how us drunks love counting steps

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(636): I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom (636): You know how us drunks love counting steps http://tfl.nu/2dlf

Replies (17) Good night (2694) Bad night (694)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

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(267): i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal http://tfl.nu/wd7r

Replies (18) Good night (1474) Bad night (4108)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.

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(612): a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest. http://tfl.nu/dtsn

Replies (40) Good night (3849) Bad night (931)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(403): She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for. http://tfl.nu/yw8g

Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (4171)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day

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(570): It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/m1h1

Replies (10) Good night (3906) Bad night (919)
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(661): View more from California

I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.

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(661): I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is. http://tfl.nu/de6o

Replies (11) Good night (5697) Bad night (1217)
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(813): View more from Florida

We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.

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(813): We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again. http://tfl.nu/6j6o

Replies (43) Good night (2618) Bad night (5108)
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(260): View more from Indiana

I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.

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(260): I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops. http://tfl.nu/sp9a

Replies (10) Good night (5980) Bad night (1090)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

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(407): I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame. http://tfl.nu/841f

Replies (5) Good night (3690) Bad night (895)
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(443): View more from Maryland

When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.

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(443): When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain. http://tfl.nu/mvaw

Replies (6) Good night (2327) Bad night (1027)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You used the best tools you had at your disposal.

(651): View more from Minnesota

Slutty, slutty tools.

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(507): You used the best tools you had at your disposal. (651): Slutty, slutty tools. http://tfl.nu/m6kb

Replies (9) Good night (2003) Bad night (658)
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(937): View more from Ohio

BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies

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(937): BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies http://tfl.nu/slm2

Replies (6) Good night (550) Bad night (926)
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(619): View more from California

Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

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(619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j

Replies (11) Good night (506) Bad night (1114)
Favorite
(217): View more from Illinois

Do one night stands count towards my number?

(516): View more from New York

Yes. A penis is a penis

(217): View more from Illinois

Even bad ones?

(516): View more from New York

YES.

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(217): Do one night stands count towards my number? (516): Yes. A penis is a penis (217): Even bad ones? (516): YES. http://tfl.nu/iyle

Replies (0) Good night (732) Bad night (479)

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