guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize