I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
