Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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  (305): Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that. http://tfl.nu/r17f
  Replies (41) Good night (952) Bad night (4475)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.

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  (267): In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/c22r
  Replies (14) Good night (510) Bad night (3884)
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  (831): View more from California

  atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.

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  (831): atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex. http://tfl.nu/0vib
  Replies (31) Good night (641) Bad night (6813)
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  (925): View more from California

  we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

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  (925): we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks http://tfl.nu/odpi
  Replies (19) Good night (1631) Bad night (4110)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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  (778): I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/ttig
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (3362)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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  (225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl
  Replies (5) Good night (3151) Bad night (1071)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic

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  (979): He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic http://tfl.nu/8ocy
  Replies (10) Good night (2467) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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  (570): They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier. http://tfl.nu/s3gh
  Replies (17) Good night (2134) Bad night (681)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.

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  (813): Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night. http://tfl.nu/yhd7
  Replies (5) Good night (1408) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Formal letter or email.

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  (647): How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks? (416): Formal letter or email. http://tfl.nu/qlv5
  Replies (4) Good night (1255) Bad night (407)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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  (817): you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe" (682): God please dont post that to facebook. http://tfl.nu/pwe8
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  How early is too early to study with margaritas?

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  (256): How early is too early to study with margaritas? http://tfl.nu/2gtu
  Replies (5) Good night (506) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder

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  (563): I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder http://tfl.nu/9h0o
  Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir

  (716): View more from New York

  That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people

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  (585): He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir (716): That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people http://tfl.nu/6664
  Replies (0) Good night (495) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You can wear anything you want

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So... Naked it is then

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  (262): You can wear anything you want (704): So... Naked it is then http://tfl.nu/h72c
  Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (204)

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