She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.