Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
