Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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