Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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