David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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