fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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