You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize