I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my shit smells like andre
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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