Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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