"it" just moved
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
