i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
