You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Swine flu. Run for my life!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Congratulations! We have a period
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