If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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