If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they're like a gay fantastic four
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
