Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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