Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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