I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
bring money and cleavage
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
