hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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