So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
