My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
