Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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