You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
