She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
