the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
