I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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