He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
