glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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