so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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