Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
