first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I think I sprained my soul last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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