you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
