so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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