i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
