He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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