You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
