Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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