yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
