Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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