letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize