Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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