I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
