Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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