the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
