Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize