Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
