girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
