So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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