The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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