Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
