Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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