he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
