I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
ugly people sure do ruin things
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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