my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Randomize
