So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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