oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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