Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
